LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED

2010-12-07T15:27:00.002+05:30

Virtual Friend

Its days like these I like you most
When I buzz you with a bad mood
And even if you are in between something better
You let me rant for what can seem like an hour or so

You listen to me go on and on
About some guy who broke my heart
Or my girl friend with whom I just fought

A small little smiley, a friendly ear you lend
To my mundane problems that ever end
Its crazy how I sometimes imagine you so near
And people sitting next to me so far

I don't have to call you everyday
Or tell you every detail of my life
And without our little chats
So many weeks pass by
Then again out of a blue moon
When I buzz you,
We end our conversation
with the usual "talk to you soon"

Thank You Salma for sharing the love.

2010-09-20T11:55:00.000+05:30

...She held onto him tightly as he zipped through the traffic with finesse, like a pro race driver. She was always thrilled when they both were on a bike, and it gave her http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goose_bumps">goosebumpsa> when he drove fast and cut through the traffic. It was drizzling slightly and even though it could be bad for their health, they just wanted to go on and on. As a child she’d always wanted to drive a bike, maybe because she saw her dad driving the new Yamaha RX 100(15 years back it was new), from her childhood. Now she loved sitting behind this guy, whom she loved, as he throttled the modified http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4092/4963751340_5ed6223ed0_b.jpg">2000 model CBZ with its stylish toe shift system. She could feel him taking the bike to its limits; she loved it when the roar of the wind drowned the roar of the engine.........

She had a lot of knowledge about bikes; as far as a 20 year old girl is concerned. But then that wasn’t the single reason why she was different from other girls of her age. She hated the company of TYPICAL girls. Maybe it was because she spent 12 years in a girl’s only convent school, or maybe due to the fact that the two women who’d been closest to her in her life; her mom and her elder sister; were such nice people that she hated to be categorised into the so called NORMAL GIRL STEREOTYPE. Now this doesn’t mean she doesn’t live like a woman. She does have feelings of a woman, and the best feeling of all in them was that she was in love with this guy. He wasn’t the best looking guy in town, but then she wasn’t the best looking gal in town either. So she thought she’d go for something other than looks in her dream guy. Actually it wasn’t until he proposed to her that she though more about love and marriage and family and all. Because he was the first person who’d made her feel that she was a mature girl, a girl who could be made a wife, a girl who’d be a good mother to his kids. The day he proposed to her, she wasn’t in the usual dilemma of a girl if he was the right guy for her, instead she was thinking, was she mature enough for something serious like this?

That was 3 years back, now she had no doubt in her mind regarding the fact that he should be her life-partner, for he was the lone person who understood her without even her telling him the problem. To add to this, he had a great job now, working in one of the best Investment Banks in the world-http://group.barclays.com/About-us"> Barclays Plc. He was a globe trotting MBA hotshot thanks to his http://www.iimahd.ernet.in/">IIM Ahmedabad http://www.iimahd.ernet.in/web/iima/pgpprogramme">PGP</a>. In some way it was she who’d inspired him to pursue an MBA, even though he wouldn’t admit it to anyone. It was his wish to match her parents’ question of status in the society that made him quit his decently paying job and write numerous mock cat’s and ace the CAT and get 4 IIM calls(ACLI, if you ask). He always had the ability, but it was the focus provided by a desire to marry her that pushed him forward. She could still remember the day that he proposed his wish to marry her. YES, it wasn’t the typical, I love you and would you be my girl. He was bold enough to ask her, “Would you be my Wife?” It was on the 26th of June, 2004; the day that he got a job in http://www.blogger.com/www.marutisuzuki.com">Marutia>. Maybe it was the feeling in his mind that he had a secure job, a soon to be completed degree, which would make him an engineer. So the next thing would be to have a girl. But he didn’t have interest in going for a college love story, especially since he had just one more year left to complete his B Tech. So he carefully evaluated a few girls. Yeah, even she knew that she wasn’t the first choice in his mind, he’d been frank enough to tell her that, and that was one other thing that she appreciated about him, his frankness and his boldness to tell anyone what he felt; even though he was painfully frank at times. He was a nobody in college, except for some people very close to him, hardly anyone knew him. He was someone who was THE guy when it came to certain things; like technical paper presentations or when someone's car broke down or a bike had a starting trouble; he was the guy who all remembered.

He had a great smile, a smile which in spite of his average looks made him handsome. He walked with what many would call a "happy bouncy walk", which as per some books and psychologists reflects a positive personality. Yes he did have a positive mind-frame when it came to talking about and certain things. But he was totally clueless about how he can have his future planned out.

Like all engineers he had a degree which said he was an engineer, but then he wasn't an engineer who knew each and everything in engineering. He was someone who could be called as a practical engineer; someone who knew how to repair a damaged TV,a broken down car, a malfunctioning amplifier and once he even changed the entire computer network of his department lab. These things aren't what many would call as great set of skills, but to have all these in a single man, that's where the greatness lies.

She on the other hand was what many would call a straight A student. Bright in academics and extracurriculars. She was the star of any programme in college. Be it a dancing competition or a Just A Minute event. She could baffle the audience with her sheer passion in the dancing and the amazing vocabulary she had when it came to speaking in front of a crowd. It wasn't just these, she could very well connect with the crowd and create a happy mood where ever she went. This was one of the prime reasons why he was attracted to her.

They both weren't what anyone would call a great couple. People were surprised when they told that they are together. Both their friends thought that they could get better people and they both deserved better. His friends thought she wasn't the type who'd make a perfect match for him and her friends didn't think he can match up to her talents. But they both somehow knew that the other was the ONE! This relation went on for a year until the time came for him and her to leave for their respective jobs. He went to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delhi">Delhi since Maruti was his firm and she went to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mysore">Mysore for joining http://www.infosys.com/about/what-we-do/pages/index.aspx">Infosys. They both left on separate dates with promises to talk to each other daily. His training started and he was posted on the shopfloor at http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/5b/Marutisuzuki.jpg">Maruti's Gurgaon factory, while she was posted to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bangalore">Bangalore after her training. They used to talk daily unless work was too much and they just didn't have the energy to talk to each other.

Like this one year passed and they hadn't met. They planned a meeting by taking leave together to come back home. So on 25th June, 2006 both of them reached Kochi, their hometown. They met the next day at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marine_Drive,_Kochi">Marine Drive and walked and talked for a long time. She felt happy to see him and he was delighted to see her. While talking and walking she noticed that he had changed a lot. He had put on some weight and his way of walking had changed from the happy bouncy walk to a rather slow, heavy walk. She heard him describe his work and how he used to be commanding workers in the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assembly_line">assembly line at Maruti. He was talking with the same animated style that he had, but she noticed that he had an air of authority now which made him feel like the boss of things.

He noticed that her dressing sense had improved and she kept good care of herself and he felt that a good part of her salary was being spent on make-up. But then he thought, "WTH, why should I bother, as long as she's happy am happy". She also looked slimmer than the last time he had seen her, maybe it was the work catching up with her, or maybe the low-on-sleep lifestyle thanks to the job.

He then asked if she wanted to go for a drive. She had never come for a drive with him back in college days as she feared if she'd be seen by someone whom she knew, or someone her parents knew; eventhough she always wanted to do it. Today she somehow didn't think of what will happen IF... She just said ok and they both walked towards the parking and he started his bike and came to the place where she was standing. He stopped and flipped his visor off his helmet and said "Need a lift?" and she laughed and replied "your stupid sense of humour is still intact."

They drove through the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Park_Avenue,_Kochi">Park Avenue and within some minutes they reached the highway and that's when he started speeding....................

...........she held onto him tightly as he zipped through the traffic with finesse, like a pro race driver. She was always thrilled when they both were on a bike, and it gave her http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goose_bumps">goosebumpsa> when he drove fast and cut through the traffic. It was drizzling slightly and even though it could be bad for their health, they just wanted to go on and on.

Both of them were talking about the good times they had back in college, about the jokes that happened and neither of them had a worry of what was happening in the world around them. They both had reached http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vytilla">Vytilla where they were waiting at the signal when she suddenly saw that in the car stopped behind them in the signal was her uncle. She was worried if he had seen her and started to panic. He was also worried and she just wanted to get away from the place unnoticed. She had never thought about this until now. She wished she had never sat behind him in the bike. As soon as the signal was green she was telling him to hurry on and get ahead of the car as far as possible. He sped on, but still her tension wasn't relieved. She wanted him to get away from the car as soon as possible. In all this tension he was also getting worried and he lost focus from driving and also the rain started getting heavier.

They slipped on the road and the http://www.blogger.com/www.mahindrascorpio.com">Scorpio coming from behind them crashed into their bike and she was thrown off the bike. She fell some feet away from the crash where he was jammed between the Scorpio and the road. Eye-witnesses said the crash was very bad and the girl died on the spot due to a head injury, he was alive when he was being taken to the hospital and all the while he wanted to know if the girl was safe. He was worried what her mother will say when she reached home so late. He was asking questions what happened to his girl, the girl whom he had loved. He knew something was amiss when no one told him anything about her. He had multiple fractures and internal bleeding from the accident and before he could reach a surgeons hands he also was dead.

At the time of death the only thoughts in her head were, if only she had not accepted to come with him in his bike, and his last thoughts were if only he was able to get her away from whoever was in the car behind.

If only the world didn't have a problem with two people falling in love with each-other irrespective of their backgrounds, they would both have been alive today.
Abhijith B

PS: This was a post which I had started writing more than two years ago in 2008. I didn't know how to progress and how to end it, and I hope I've done justice to it.

Thank you for your entry...

2010-09-17T11:55:00.000+05:30

Happiness

It was nearing midnight and the blowing wind made the whistling sound. The street outside was deserted, except for the occasional group of college goers returning from a beer-bong party with the mirth of youth and carelessness that abounds that phase of life.

“Where is she?” He worried.

It’s just like her, to get lost in work and forget about the rest of the world. It tempted him several times to pick up the phone and ask her what time she would be home. Even after being in an on-off relationship for three years, there was nothing that could get him used to this behavior. Their relationship was found on the basis that they understood each other and for each of them the other was the safe haven that they return to time and again. He knew how much she hated being interrupted when immersed in work. Same went with him and it was accepted to just let the other be. Both of them were ambitious and driven people, eager to be part of something big and dreamt of that day together countless times.

When he worried about her, he usually started cooking to keep his mind off thinking excessively. Fresh pot of coffee, some dough in the oven, and pasta later; the door clicked open and she walked in the kitchen.

“Nothing like your anxiety cooked food at night to celebrate” said she and kissed him lightly.

Seeing her home and with a satisfied smile on her face, calmed him.

“If this is your new strategy to get out of making dinner, then it works excellently”.

“Aah” she said, “you read me better than anyone” and started setting the table. She poured some wine in two glasses and handed one to him.

“What’s the occasion?”

“You mister are talking to the Head of Operations, of Europe division. If you would raise your glass and drink with me, to dreams and their coming true!”

Things had only started getting somewhat real for them after so many years of being just friends and meeting at conferences. They started living together when both of them by a lucky coincidence were posted to work in London. As happy he was for her success, the job meant relocation to Zurich. This was one of those discussions they had had several times. After all those long nights of animated debates, they had come to the conclusion that whenever something like this would happen, each would follow their dream and there would be no question of putting the person on the spot to choose.

Happiness is a mistress he thought. On the one hand, her happiness was all he wished for and on the other it meant she would no longer be with him.

He looked deeply in her eyes, raised his glass and said “To everything that makes you happy, may it be everlasting”.

Thank you Salma Sultana for the entry.

2010-09-15T10:20:00.001+05:30

Longing

If there could just be a way of getting there

I wouldn’t hesitate to get on the first plane

If there were words to say all that I want to

I would shout at the top of my lungs

If there were tears that I could shed

I would fill an ocean full of them

I wish I could just make you stay

To give you all that I have

To be with you

It’s hard to see you going away

But there is no way to stop you

My heart wrenches at the thought

That it was all my mistake

Oh why couldn’t I understand

How important all of it was

I just pray that someday

We could talk about it all

I can say what I want

Without using any words at all

And you would hear it with your heart

My hands would be in yours

And we would stay like this forever

Thank you for your entry Salma Sultana...

2010-08-15T13:20:00.000+05:30

If you love something.

You should have it. :)

Thank you Kiran for the entry...

2010-08-13T10:36:00.002+05:30

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who will lie under the stars and listen to your
heartbeat... wait for the boy who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is knows he's lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”
- anonymous

2010-08-11T13:10:00.003+05:30

never just sex…

never the erotic and sensual for its own sake—exploration with the act, or journey of the senses as the “climax” of the “climax” …but now? When did my current paradox first take shape? Post-Raj? The latest model was supposed to be the “one,” and after months of luxuriant, intoxicating fantasies of happily-ever-after, he faded out in the “morning-after” greys—hardly even ordinary for all of his conjuring and dime-store magic…and I think that even though my heart was broken in the after-math,

I emerged stronger, my feathers bright,

and wings orange in flight;

more full from their baptism of ashes.

I changed in that re-birth because a little corner of my heart; perhaps even a deeply rooted weed in the bedded earth of my soul—perished.

It died to the desperation of loneliness;

it died to the paralyzing fear that true love would never find me;

died to the coldness and strange gloom that my dreams would float as still lifes,

stagnant in colour—stillbirths barren in hopes of fulfillment

in vacant space around me.

These debilitating, exhausting, perpetual, crazy-making fears DIED. And my heart rose up out of those ashes-truly free-buoyant in the joyous tremble of each moment I am alive—

Unfettered in love, laughter, ambition, dream, adventure, sensuality, and journeys alight—AT LAST…

and so I have been awake in my moments –aware, present, and full in my experiencing of them…

more alive in my body, and attuned to its movements—its hungers, cravings and desires;

more present to its rhythms; more sentient in each footstep I take,

each kiss as it falls and plays upon my lips,

each touch-electric-

and each syllable roundly uttered by my mouth…

more nourished by the foods I eat,

their spices and textures as worlds of delight to my body…

and sex? …

There are many easy words; ready judgments, that I could drape around my neck—contorting my soul to fit into the hands of her critic…container or casket? Just or cruel? I have come to this…

I have wanted the men who have wanted me.

I have lusted and desired and kissed and kissed back; I have touched and held their bodies close to mine; I have whispered and gazed and laughed and

cried out in delight;

I have caressed and beheld these hearts and spirits and in those moments of night greeting day; dark meeting light, loved them in my own way…

I have wanted and desired and richly received…for me.

Yes, they watched me, charmed me, chased me, caught me, and made love to me—

but I let them—

and more than this,

I wanted them to.

And yes, it was love to me because

I was full and present in those moments and because

love is what I am and what I offer.

And I elicited it in kind from these men—in their languages, of their description…Marry me, You are perfect, You are a wonderful and special woman, You are paradise, I love You, …

and so many more “I love yous” in touches, embraces, and kisses –all of these moments, from wherever they began their journeys-bars or banquets---all of them---have brought tenderness, love, passion, playfulness, adventure, and soul to me…

I have said “I do” many times (not yet while walking down an aisle towards my life partner) but rather

I have learned to say “yes, I do” to myself, and stay committed to THAT truest of soulmates …

so does this make me a “feminist” or a “tramp”? A “cougar” or an “old maid”?...

The weight of such titles are emblazoned across my forehead in scarlet, but lately I guess I’ve been wondering: by whose hand?

Somewhere beneath veils of judgment and insecurity, when the door closes and there’s only me, is there some island that I occupy in the country of between that speaks to a bit of yin and yang around these issues?

I want to say that how I’ve been living has been an outward expression of acceptance and integration of the incredible freedom and death to fear I spoke of before, but the cultural critic and more conservative Indian woman in me (parental??) worries that I have become quite reckless…

I struggle in corners of my heart to keep shame and judgment at bay, trying to love and embrace myself entirely as I am…taking it all in for just what it is….and just what IS it?

I still strive for those easy answers—those “right” answers that will please, that will make it all okay or acceptable or enlightened in the grand, cosmic scheme of life and spirit…

So, are these cigars just cigars, or echoes of the One hand clapping in the wind? Perhaps for now—in this moment—the tension that I hold in the liminal spaces of between make them both true…

and maybe right now that’s

okay.

A new entry received for the Love Blog.

Remember keep the love alive by sending entries to queenmatrai@gmail.com

2010-07-08T11:30:00.000+05:30

A Letter to my unborn child.

Dear Baby Doll,

Before I say anything else, I'd like to say THANK YOU! For coming into my life when I needed you the most.

I believe that you're nothing less than a miracle. A gift sent by God himself. And my most precious gift till date.

Your father and I were eager to have a baby and when we came to know you were coming to us, the happiness we felt cannot be compared to anything else we had experienced till then. When we saw you for the first time, you were the size of a little bud. 0.7cm or something as tiny as that. I couldn't believe it. We had to wait for 2 more weeks to be sure of your arrival. Nothing could've prepared us for what we were about to see during the second scan. We saw you come to life. Yes, we could see your teeny little heart beating away. It was such a beautiful feeling. When I told your father he was equally overcome with emotion. You were 7 weeks and 3 days old then.

The next few weeks were an absolutely whirlwindy with me trying to balance my work-life with the increasing morning-sickness (yes I had to deal with it for almost 4 full months), a ravenous appetite and drastic mood swings. I also went through a phase where I wasn't sure if I would be a good mother as I was unable to handle myself, let alone handling a little baby. Your dad was at his reassuring best ALL the time and has had a huge role to play in calming me down and helping me see the joy in the moment and enjoy the months ahead instead of worrying incessantly about things I was just imagining.

Also, we traveled to Mumbai twice by flight (once in early Feb and once in March) to take care of Ammamma who was very sick at the time and had undergone a surgery. I was confident you'll cope with the flight travel, and you did!

In April, when you were 4 odd months old, my life took an unexpected turn..now I realise for the better. Your dad had a bad attack of Chicken Pox for the first time in his life and I took the risk of being with him throughout, much against the advice of a whole lot of people, including the doctors. You were such a wonderful baby and cooperated so well those few days—right from erratic eating schedules to hectic, strenuous physical activity, you put up with it all. We were scared for you. But you proved to be a fighter and I am so proud of it. I prayed to God every moment in those few days for your well being. For your safety. And God did answer my prayers. In my next scan at 22 weeks we saw you to be a perfect, happy bouncy little thing with teeny weeny arms and legs. The relief I felt when the doctor told me everything was Ok was overwhelming.

It was during this time that I quit my job and decided to stay back home to take care of my family. As I'm writing this, at 6 months of pregnancy, I believe it was a good decision. Nothing can ever bring back these wonderful days and I wanted to enjoy every day of my first pregnancy. Being able to feel you kick, squirm, bounce all day long; having long conversations with you whenever I feel like it and imagining your kicks to be a response to I say. Fantasizing about what life will be like after you come into the world - tiny clothes all around, colourful toys, loud cries, precious smiles and above all that.. the unconditional love.

I've done a lot of things that most women don't dare to do during their pregnancy, especially the first one... like travel several times by air during the first and second trimesters, take long road trips, take speed boat rides in the rough sea, risking a dangerous, contagious infection, watching Bollywood movies (fearing the filmy influence J), eating anything and everything that came my way and just continuing to be myself. I've also not done many things that pregnant women are particular about like being oh-so-gentle, behave like a patient and refuse to do any strenuous work, listen to calm music, reading 'good' books etc etc. And you, my baby, have been a great partner in all my deeds. Am sure you'll turn out to be just like Appa and me in many ways. You've already shown us that you are a fighter, a traveler at heart and also a foodie by nature. The rate at which am watching Bollywood movies and enjoying the FIFA world cup, am assuming you'll be just as filmy as I am and enjoy playing and watching sports as much as Appa does. :D

As the 9-month wait to bring you into the world is drawing in on me, am becoming increasingly excited. We are also preparing to discipline ourselves so that we can bring you up the right way till you are old enough to take care of yourself.

Both Appa and I are going to try our best to give you a good life to the best of our abilities starting from day one. Hope you are warm, healthy and comfortable and stay that way always. Wishing you a wonderful life ahead my little one.

Loads and loads of love,

Amma

Thank you for this anonymous entry - you know who you are.

Please send your entries to queenmatrai@gmail.com

2010-07-06T12:42:00.000+05:30

I love my new home. I love Goa.

Because it is here, that I have discovered a new found love for life, solitude, peace,

togetherness, struggle and simplicity.

Thank you, Goa.

Thank you hAAthi for sharing the Love.

Please send your entries to queenmatrai@gmail.com

2010-07-05T12:50:00.001+05:30

We have always been very fond of doing up ourhome, so I have walls full of pictures and souvenirs. And yes lots of plants across the house
One of my greatest weakness's is for green and sometimes when I am walking on the road and find a pretty plant, I uproot one, pull out a plastic from my bag and plant it once I'm home.
A month back we were in Mumbai with G's parents and I saw a beautiful plant in the garden, immediately took it out and put it in a plastic with some soil and moistened it. The general verdict was that it would shrivel in the 4 hour drive back to Pune, but I just spoke to it and said "dont let me down gorgeous".

We reached home at 11 in the night, I rushed to my terrace picked up a new pot, poured some soil and planted the little guy. Over the next one week I saw 4 leaves drying , while I watered it, touched it gently and said "dont let me down baby".

It sat on my window sill in the kitchen and I rubbed its leaves with water and spoke to it saying "ohh c'mmon you need to be strong and gorgeous..pls baby".

Today after 45 days, it has 6 new leaves, measure 10cms more than what it was and is dark green and looks at me and says "I love you too ".

Thank you Sulagna for sharing the Love.

Please send your entries to queenmatrai@gmail.com

2010-07-04T09:34:00.000+05:30

Forgiveness

You asked me for my forgiveness
I was wounded and I refused.
Separate and silent, years slipped by
We grew apart and looked forward.

Then one day our paths collided
And you asked me once again.
I searched deep not knowing why
After such healing I still refused.

Later that night my soul searched
And i realized what I feared
It startled me with its truth
Lurking deep in ugly self denial.

I can't forgive if it means
Setting you free, letting you go
Breaking that tie that keeps you
In my life, bound to me.

If I forgave, we would be
Simply no more, don't you see?
I deny you not from anger
Grudge or revenge, no such irony!

It's simply because, I'm not ready
To be finished loving you yet.
For this reason I must continue
To refuse forgiveness...until I am.

XXX

Thank you for this anonymous entry - you know who you are.

Please send your entries to queenmatrai@gmail.com

2010-07-03T11:33:00.001+05:30

Dear Sumit

I started writing this as a comment to your recent post - 'There's No Such Place As Far Away', but I kept writing and realized that this was better off on my blog!

So here goes. As always you write so well and from the heart. Strangely I've never read any of Richard Bach's books except Jonathan Livingston Seagull (a personal favorite of my husband's). But I've always preserved quotes from him. I had this one stuck on the soft board on my bedroom for a long time: You are never given a dream without being given the power to make it come true!

For years I dreamed of finding my soulmate (don't we all?). In the process of this search I've fallen in love many times over, each time thinking, 'Ah, I've found the ONE' (turned out there was more than one!!!). It was finally at age 41 that I met my soul mate - my husband. 'Oh Lord,' I can hear you say, 'do I have to wait so long?'. Your journey needn't be as mine and hopefully if you can learn something from my journey, it will make it all the more worthwhile.

Some questions you might ask -
Did I make many mistakes in this journey? YES.
Did I get in to some weird relationships? YES (although they seemed alright at the time).
Do I have regrets about the loving, the losing and the pain? NO.

No regrets, because every time I learned something....and at the end of the journey I learned one truth and that's what I'd like to share with you. Love does not take long to come to us...it's we that take a long time to come to Love. What do I mean by that?

I mean that most often we think that we have to 'find' Love and start looking for it in other people. The truth is that until we love ourselves and accept ourselves, we'll never find that Love. To quote Richard Bach: 'Until you make room in your life for someone as important to you as yourself, you will always be searching and lost'.

For a long time I 'loved' people who didn't feel the same way about me, were not ready to commit, found me too strong, too fat, too attached to my family..........Why was Love eluding me I wondered. I thought I had a problem - and I did. To quote Bach again: If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem. The moment I stopped looking for Love and started focusing on myself and my own happiness, I 'found' Love. It was waiting to be found - within me! The irony is when I realised that I didn't have to depend on someone else to make me happy, I found someone who I was happy to be with and who was happy to be with me.

So Sumit, I hope I haven't confused you and lectured too much - I didn't mean to. All I want you to know is to let go and just be who you are - Love will come. Enjoy your relationship with your 'friend' and be the best friend you can be to YOU.

Thank You Corinne for Sharing the Love.

Please send your entries (which can be left anonymous) to queenmatrai@gmail.com

2010-07-02T10:55:00.002+05:30

“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.”

~ Benjamin Franklin

An anonymous entry sent to Queenmatrai@gmail.com

2010-07-01T10:54:00.002+05:30

Love is living together for 45 years with its ups and downs and yet caring deeply for one another.

Thank you Shacune for Sharing the Love.

Please send your entries to queenmatrai@gmail.com to help keep love alive.

2010-06-30T12:45:00.001+05:30

Is this Love?

Please send entries to queenmatrai@gmail.com

Help keep love alive with your entries...

2010-06-29T11:40:00.000+05:30

This amazing feeling called love.

Love. It is something I live on day and night. It's like oxygen. It is oxygen.

Sat to write for "Love is all you need" today, finally, when I'm high on lack of sleep, when my eyes are swollen with last night's tears and I'm waiting for his call because he wanted to "talk in detail" about my behavior. Oh, I smiled for the first time since morning right now as I typed 'talk in detail'. You see.. he sounded very scary and really pissed last night and said "I won't let you get away with it this time, we'll talk in detail about this tomorrow, sleep now." and I shivered. But then, I woke up to his messages - "I love you, give me a kiss my vuvuzela"

From 2 nights ago:

Him - I'm sure you read about them being annoying and never noticed otherwise during the match.. :p

Me - Nooo, I noticed the sound the first day only! I didn't know it was called a Vuvuzela but I found the sound very annoying!

Him - Say it again na..

Me - What?? *and then I realised what. He loves it when I mispronounce a word and makes me repeat it* Noooo..!!! hahaha...vuvuzela ~

Him - Vooovooozela doll! I love you so much...*kisskisskisss* you sound so cute baby.

and then I said Vuvuzela 4 times.

Anyway. I am in a long distance relationship, it's been 5 and a half years since we are together. One year since he held my hand, since we kissed, since I saw him off. I still remember the expression on his face, he was trying to be a strong for me but looked so helpless and sad and promised me we'll be together soon. I said bye with tears in my eyes, he kissed my forehead quickly and gave me a look that said "Don't cry or I'll cry now".

6 years since we've been best friends. Though the years seem long to others, they just flew by for me even though we met all of 7 times. But those very few moments are enough to keep us hooked to each other for a lifetime. You don't find the perfect-fit every day, right? And when you do, you don't let it go, you don't give up on it just because you have to wait for a long time to be together. People wonder if I am crazy to be waiting since so long. Sometimes they doubt if these two will ever be together. But I just smile because I know that the people who think I'm screwing my life have never been in love, that kind of love, my kind of love -- ever trusting, ever hoping & forever waiting with dreams in my eyes. And I go on with the blind faith I have in love, in God, in him.

♥

♪ Every night in my dream I see you. I feel you...that is how I know you go on
Far across the distance and spaces between us..you have come to show you go on.
Near, far .. wherever you are..I believe that the heart does go on.
Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime
And never go till we're one..
Love was when I loved you
One true time I hold to
In my life we'll always go on

You're here, there's nothing I fear,
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart and my heart will go on and on ♪

Thank You Dip for Sharing the Love.

Please send entries to queenmatrai@gmail.com to keep this blog alive.

2010-06-28T11:49:00.000+05:30

After:the first day in school,
my first class teacher in Nursery,
the first lunch break with a handkerchief tightly stuck to my dress,
the first best friend to share tiffin with,
the initial fighting over crayons,
slowly making friends with a smile,
growing up under the shades of the school trees and classrooms,
inter school competitions,
fights with friends,
peer pressure,
patching up friendships,
loosing out on our best friends- or so we thought,
finding new ones,
exams,
birthday treats,
canteens,
photographs and memories,
Boards,
and after 12 years of school... I get tagged on facebook in this photograph by a friend..
And realized where all of us started from.

It's not the end, it's the beginning that nurtures love.. It's those kids with lil dresses and half pants that start the Love. It's those kids who are -- We.

-Nil. :)

~*~*~*~~*~~*~*~*~*~*~

Please send your entries to queenmatrai@gmail.com

2010-06-27T10:53:00.003+05:30

Spreading Love Bit by Bit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upnTg2GPgTM

Thank you Amit for Sharing the Love

2010-06-26T11:33:00.000+05:30

Guys….I love you!!!

The ppl I love the most in this  world – that’s of ‘course my parentz. 

But after that, my world revolves around my  friends. While making new friends,  I always fear of losing them. That’s  what my past experiences has taught me. 

Whenever I make new friends ….and talk to them  …and get close with them …and starts liking them and…and…they go away  from me [not like they run away from me...their parents get transferred,   they move to some other place and will go out of contact]. This  was the case of my childhood friends.

But recently...I have been losing friends  because I started fighting with them often…I couldn’t help it. When I  get angry, I lose all my control and fight...even if I know that the  mistake is from my part, I keep on arguing...I don’t know why… But  whatever I say …. I don’t keep anything in my mind. I forget about the  fight right away, but, they never forget it…

[I do fight with you, but still... I love you  guys…]

I have hurt  many of my beloved friends….knowingly and unknowingly...I do realize it  and I never wanna repeat it again. 

And while writing about friends, I cannot leave  these three unstated – Maithili, Vishnu and Remi – the ppl with whom I  never feel like fighting… 

Thank You Reshma for Sharing the Love.

2010-06-25T11:14:00.001+05:30

In the words of John Lennon:

Love is real, real is love,
Love is feeling, feeling love,
Love is wanting to be loved.
Love is touch, touch is love,
Love is reaching, reaching love,
Love is asking to be loved.
Love is you,
You and me,
Love is knowing,
We can be.
Love is free, free is love,
Love is living, living love,
Love is needing to be loved.

This was an anonymous entry we received describing what Love means to them through the words of John Lennon.

You can send your entries anonymously to queenmatrai@gmail.com.

All you have to do is mention that you would like to remain anonymous in the email sent.

Spread the Love

2010-06-24T11:47:00.000+05:30

"Love = Flowers + Rain + Park Bench"

Thanks VC for Sharing the Love.

Please send entries to queenmatrai@gmail.com

2010-06-23T12:04:00.000+05:30

The unconditional love between a Mother & Child....

Would dedicate this to my Daughter... the Angel in my life !!!

To my daughter, I Love You So,

You are so Special, I Hope You Know.

Our Love shines for all to see,

I'm in Awe, Your a part of Me !!!

Love You My Darling... Today & Always !!!!

Thank You Shalini for Sharing The Love.

Please email your entries to queenmatrai@gmail.com and help spread the love.

2010-06-22T11:39:00.001+05:30

He came out of the shower frisking his hair, playfully whistling a line of song from Matchbox 20, a bath towel loosely wrapped around his waist.

He smiled ,seeing her sitting on the edge of his table, which was near a window, that opened into the garden. Sunlight shone bright through the parted, lime green colored window curtains. Shadows played Tic- Tac -Toe with the check patterns on his bed sheet

She sat there silent. She looked brilliant. She was calm.

His Computer was churning out the codes, he had fed in for compiling before he went into the shower. Only the loud hum of the P.C fan filled the room. She and him was all alone.

With a wicked and playful grin, he moved towards her. She always tempted him in more than one way. She was always with him, when he needed her, enlightening him up and giving him that "mood" to work. It was in her that he found his solace.

He stood near her. His computer monitor had flashed a few warnings and exceptions. It listed ..quiet a few on that list..

"That could always wait" he said in low hushed voice.

His cold fingers closed around her waist!!

"Oooohhh!!"

He felt his nerves tinge, as he felt her warmth. There was a new rush of emotions in him. He embraced her..

He pulled her closer, his lips parted to take her in him!!

Time seem to stand still. He was experiencing the bullet time like those in the movies.

He placed his lips on her...His nostrils widened as to feel her sensual smell..

"mmmmmmmmm...." A moan of ecstasy escaped him.

Her hot steamy warmth, on his face..was soo *cushy mushy gooy gooy for him.

He took a little sip out of his coffee..

"Aaaaahhh...Blisssss!!!!" He closed his eyes..his tongue rolling in his mouth. His taste pallets bathed in the glory of coffee..

Wow!!!

"Coffee..Kick starts my brain" He said to himself with an eyebrow raised and a twisted smile.

"You don't drink coffee...You make love to it"

Thank you Sorcerer for Sharing the Love.
Please send entries to queenmatrai@gmail.com

2010-06-21T11:59:00.003+05:30

The first thing after you bathe you have the Shidur in your forehead
Everyday back home the warm hug making me forget that I have been weary

Everyday to office the goodbye kiss making me forget the day long work ahead

On embellishing yourself and looking so beautiful with the best ofperfumes, Jewellery and Accessories looking for my eyes to turn wide
in admiration

The lovely little notes that you post on the wall

The dreams and wishes that you share with me and when we live through
them together

For holding my hand and your desire to hold my hand when I am 90 and you are 86

For watching ESPN and NDTV with me even when you wish to see the next
scary movie on HBO

For the surprise gifts and the beautiful flowers when it the least expected

Your holding me tight and the bear hugs in bed when I wake up

Getting angry on me for not arranging the clothes and the towels and
the footwears and forgiving me for the nonchalant behaviour.

Your reading a book and waiting for me to come to sleep beside you

Your kissing my neck when on the laptop and doing so for the next ten
min till I can no longer concentrate

Forgetting the last night quarrel and petulance and forgiving me for
the mistakes
Your making me feel important and being thought of all the while

Your respect, love and concern for Baba, Ma and Dida

For sharing my happiness and being with me in times of distress

For laughing away my gaucherie

You writing those cute messages on my planner with an enviable
handwrite with your sinuous fingers

Your copious collection of paraphernalia and apparels and still being
excited for me to buy you a new one

Of your interests in everything I do and your belief that we should do
it together
For embellishing the house with so much love and zeal

For sweetly contorting your lips and eyes while looking at me with

love while I draw and cook and I drive and talk.

For spending the last few months together and making me realize what

love is all about.

… Just a few from the gamut of reasons. I love you

PS: This was sent by my husband in my inbox some time back...and this is

exactly why i count my blessings every morning

Thank you Sulagna for sharing the love.

2010-06-20T12:46:00.000+05:30

Natures Window Hearts the Moon

2010-06-19T11:52:00.000+05:30

Thank you TBG for Sharing the Love.

So the love of my life is never home before 10 on most weekdays. If you keep up with my blog or know me otherwise, you would surely know this too by now. It's usually me who manages to trudge home in my ancient chariot (read: Ambassador) at about 9 and cook dinner or something edible that might pass for dinner for most bachelors living alone. Ooops, Sorry little apple, did I say 9? Nah! I meant 7 PM! :P

And the one day that the poor Sun rises from the North and she decided to turn up at my front door at 7 and I'm not there. Aha! And in around 30 seconds my phone rings. I answer it and am shocked to find out she's at home. And I'm not. I promise her I'll be home ASAP even though I very well know I would not be able to be home before late. Anyways, all's fair in love and war eh? So we hang up the phone and I get back to work.

A couple hours pass and I'm still hard at the file in front of me. The staff has long departed for home and I am sitting on my gorgeous butt trying to ignore the fact that it's late. And that's when the phone rings again. I look at the screen and my worst fears come true. She's calling again! Darn. So I tell her I'll be a little late. Needless to mention here she hangs up the phone without a word.

Silence says a lot. It would surprise us to no end when for the first time we realize that silence speaks a great deal more than words expressed out loud. The phone stays silent for another hour and then it rings again. She's pissed off at me greatly and would be going off to sleep and she makes that clear. She adds that I am a bald pea brained moron who never has the time of life for her. Aha. Sounds familiar to you eh?

11 Pm I leave from work and manage to make it home in 20 minutes. What? Why are you surprised? It might be an old car, but it's still worthy of it's gasoline!

The house is all dark and quiet. Tired and weary, I take out my key and unlock the door. Locking it behind me I can see the house all dark and empty. I climb the stairs and there she is, pretending to be fast asleep, suppressing giggles, and waiting for me to discover that she's actually been waiting for me sweetly all this while.

There's ice cold milk in the refrigerator just the way I like it, a gorgeous bowl of pasta and a equally gorgeous bowl of potato salad just the way I love it on the mantle.

Need I say more?

The sound of those giggles and the rustle of the sheets when she tries to cover her face to hide her giggling is enough to make all the weariness go away.

Love, Tbg.

2010-06-18T11:08:00.000+05:30

Colours of Friendship

My days were so plain

Without fun and colour

Till you came along

And said a friendly hello.

The hello changed

A hell to a heaven

That is so beautiful

And inexpressible.

To my life

You brought

Colours and shades

Of joys and sorrows

Giving a meaning

A beauty

That I was blind to

And didn’t know of.

The bliss of true friendship

So often ignored

And lost by people

But I shall keep this colour

Till my life fades away.

Thank You Aparna for Sharing on the Love of Friendship...

2010-06-17T11:28:00.000+05:30

Two years ago, I took a Caribbean cruise with an Aussie room-mate of mine.
Our first port of call was San Juan, more popularly known as Peurto Rico.

As we were walking down the hill on the cobblestone path, I noticed a balcony...

And strategically placed on the balcony walls was a gorgeous print of the Mother and Child glistening in the sunlight.

One day, when I have my own home...I will print this picture and frame it...Keeping it strategically as part of my life...forever...

2010-06-16T13:19:00.000+05:30

Thanks Haathi for sharing...

this is an old entry from my blog. one i had written when i was thinking about going out with someone i worked with. an "office affair" it would be called. i was torn between issues of ethics/professionalism and what my heart was leaning towards.

i took a chance.

and i ended up marrying that someone 2 years later.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

everyday, i walk around like nothings going on. when actually every sight, every sign, every little detail that has anything to do with you makes my stomach do a back flip.

still, i go around pretending. like nothings going on. it doesnt feel right, but then again i dont know whats right anymore.
im torn. in a battle between my head and my heart. im leaning towards what my heart wants, and for once in my life, im trying not to let my head get in the way.

i feel it most when we're sitting across a table..pretending to be miles apart.
so close, and still miles apart.
so far, and yet so close to my heart

Leonard Cohen - A Thousand Kisses Deep (Spoken Poem Live @ London 2009)

2010-06-14T22:03:00.000+05:30

Give a big hand for our first Love Entry.

Than you Harjee and Leonard Cohen...

You came to me this morning
And you handled me like meat
Youd have to be a man to know
How good that feels, how sweet

My mirror twin, my next of kin
Id know you in my sleep
And who but you would take me in
A thousand kisses deep

I loved you when you opened
Like a lily to the heat
You see Im just another snowman
Standing in the rain and sleet

Who loved you with his frozen love
His secondhand physique
With all he is and all he was
A thousand kisses deep

I know you had to lie to me
I know you had to cheat
To pose all hot and high
Behind the veils of sheer deceit

Our perfect porn aristocrat
So elegant and cheap
Im old but Im still into that
A thousand kisses deep

Im good at love, Im good at hate
Its in between I freeze
Been working out but its too late
(Its been too late for years)

But you look good, you really do
They love you on the street
If you were here Id kneel for you
A thousand kisses deep

The autumn moved across your skin
Got something in my eye
A light that doesnt need to live
And doesnt need to die

A riddle in the book of love
Obscure and obsolete
And witnessed here in time and blood
A thousand kisses deep

But Im still working with the wine
Still dancing cheek to cheek
The band is playing Auld Lang Syne
But the heart will not retreat

I ran with Diz, I sang with Ray
I never had their sweet
But once or twice they let me play
A thousand kisses deep

I loved you when you opened
Like a lily to the heat
You see Im just another snowman
Standing in the rain and sleet

Who loved you with his frozen love
His secondhand physique
With all he is and all he was
A thousand kisses deep

But you dont need to hear me now
And every word I speak
It counts against me anyhow
A thousand kisses deep

2010-06-14T16:00:00.000+05:30

This blog is about LOVE.

Please leave your shoes and cynicism outside the walls of this sacred space.

All the world needs now is Love, and I hope I am able to add a bit of love and cheer to your day.

This blog can be all about Love.

Unapologetic Love.

Love with unbelievable expression.

Utopian Love.

Ideal Love.

Love without Boundaries.

Lifeless Love.

Loving a pet.

Loving a tea-cup.

Smiling with Love at the beggar on the street corner.

Sticking your tongue out at a child in the next car just to make him laugh kind of Love.

A Love Letter - Famous or not.

An image that signifies Love.

All celebrations of Love personified by you, by me, by anybody.

All you have to do is email me at Queenmatrai@gmail.com with your entries.

Let's Spread Love.