Forgiveness
You asked me for my forgiveness
I was wounded and I refused.
Separate and silent, years slipped by
We grew apart and looked forward.
Then one day our paths collided
And you asked me once again.
I searched deep not knowing why
After such healing I still refused.
Later that night my soul searched
And i realized what I feared
It startled me with its truth
Lurking deep in ugly self denial.
I can't forgive if it means
Setting you free, letting you go
Breaking that tie that keeps you
In my life, bound to me.
If I forgave, we would be
Simply no more, don't you see?
I deny you not from anger
Grudge or revenge, no such irony!
It's simply because, I'm not ready
To be finished loving you yet.
For this reason I must continue
To refuse forgiveness...until I am.
XXX
Thank you for this anonymous entry - you know who you are.
Please send your entries to queenmatrai@gmail.com
'Forgiveness' is a Masterpiece.
ReplyDeleteI have thought of a lot of things but
that a person did not forgive because he wanted to be connected in love to the person because he loved her/him is a concept new to me.
But I suppose it is 'how you get attached to being ill or enjoy staying in a hospital because it gives you an identity'...is that love?
On another note I was recently 'angry' with family members for not making a settlement sooner and I cried over lost years...when I looked deeper into myself I realized that the anger was not directed at family members but at the Universe. I cried over wasted years of resentment, anger, helplessness, sadness...
Is this piece on love. Yes it is love for the feeling 'of being deeply aware of our feelings ' and 'not fooling ourselves' and 'seeing things the way they truly are'
An anonymous comment received...
Lovely poem! A person who cannot forgive coz hes not stopped loving as yet....Wonderful thought!
ReplyDeleteI'm speechless. I am.
ReplyDeleteI know all the cliches say if you truly loved someone set them free! But what if that meant they were out of your life forever? Yes it means they probably weren't yours to begin with...yes they probably didn't love you! But that doesn't mean that the love you felt for that person suddenly disappears! When you lose someone you deeply love, forgiveness is grieving!
ReplyDeleteso true :P
ReplyDeletemy god!! i dont know what to say..
ReplyDelete